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Puffers and Poop Pants

My blog post mini-hiatus is not due to lack of material. It's also not due to the new mom fallback reason of I just don't have time. (I have time to look at houses on the Reece & Nichols web site, so I have time to blog.) The real reason is, I get halfway through an entry and don't have a tidy way to wrap it up so it gets scrapped.

Previous unfinished posts have been about yoga teacher training (awesome), my parents selling the house I grew up in (not awesome) and turning 40 (awesome and not awesome simultaneously?)

Today's post, because I'm lazy, is yet another list of parenthood insights I have gained from the Bean.

1. Always go to the bathroom before you leave work to pick your kid up from daycare. This will be your last opportunity until your spouse gets home or the baby goes to bed, whichever comes first.

2. The baby will always have the biggest poop ever within an hour after a bath.

3. The should give out a Ph.D. in baby toenail trimming.

4. Your baby will never be totally booger-free. You clean out the nostril, turn to dispense the Q-Tip and turn back around to find new boogers. It's like they're on-deck boogers waiting to step in. You will eventually make peace with the fact your kid has a party going on in her nose even though you used to judge other parents for the same thing.

5. The rate at which ear wax accumulates in their ears is astounding. The easiest way to get it out is with your pinky-nail. Totally disgusting, but effective. Next I'll be spitting on a napkin and wiping her face.

6. Baby food meat is really cat food.

7. No one tells you how difficult it is to maneuver the car seat. I have tendonitis in both elbows from carrying her around in it and cannot figure out a good solution.

8. The Bean is baffled by those puffer things. However, Trudy is delighted to have a third person from whom to steal food.

9. The Bean also has an aversion to coats. I'm hoping she didn't inherit Husband's aversion to pants.

10. When the baby starts to have "poop pants", it's time to size up in diapers. (This is when you remove the diaper to find poo covering the entire region, therefore shaped like a diaper. It's as disgusting as it sounds.)

Well, I made it to ten, so I'm considering it a successful post.

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