Anyway, it's time to purge my guilty conscience. There's The Mom I Wish To Be (TMIWTB) and the actual reality of my parenting skills:
TMIWTB: Hand knits or at the very least orders sweet, one-of-a-kind baby clothing from Etsy.
Me: Can barely sew on a button and buys baby clothes from Target online because they are cheap.
TMIWTB: Sends out baby announcements within the first two months of baby’s arrival.
Me: Doesn’t send announcements because that’s what Facebook is for. Instead, uses Christmas card with pics of child as a pseudo announcement.
TMIWTB: Makes crafty thank you notes by hand with thoughtful messages.
Me: Buys cards at CVS and scribbles thank you while the baby drools on the envelope.
TMIWTB: Has professional photographer take beautiful black and white photos of baby.
Me: Take pictures with my phone. (Maybe this is why there was no announcement.)
TMIWTB: Photo documentation of baby’s growth monthly, usually with child positioned just so and artistic lettering with the date.
Me: Again, take pictures with my phone.
TMIWTB: Teaches child to begin signing before they can talk.
Me: Sing the baby ridiculous jingles using the same rhyming words repeatedly. Also, continue to use the same foul-language I used before she arrived. Her first word will probably be shit. Is there a sign for that?
TMIWTB: Has baby on a structured nap schedule so we can plan outings accordingly.
Me: Encourages nap schedule to accomodate yoga class, grocery store trips and my favorite Food Network shows.
TMIWTB: Fills out baby book thoughtfully while attaching pictures of all major milestones.
Me: Wrote stuff in baby book at around one month and hasn't opened it since. And again, all photos are on my phone.
However, one thing going for me is I have consistently blogged about pregnancy, childbirth and the perils of having an infant. So at least she'll have that resource when she realizes there is no other documentation of her childhood.