"I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies."

Neither do I, Prissy. (Gone with the Wind, 1939)

Husband and I attended a childbirth class on Saturday for this very reason. Like most first time parents, neither of us has a clue. However, being surrounded by other anxious and slightly neurotic parents-to-be actually made us feel better.

We did learn some interesting tidbits such as keep absorbent towels and a trash bag in the car you plan to take to the hospital. That way if you leak amniotic fluid it won't get on the seats and ruin the way your car smells forever. (Ugh.)

We also have a better understanding of different breathing techniques, when to leave for the hospital and not to change diapers on the floor as Trudy might interpret that as a literal pissing contest and start going all over the house.

At one point, we went around the room and announced our birthing plan. I resisted the urge to say my plan was to get the baby out of me quickly while inflicting as little pain as possible. However, after listening to several women speak longingly of natural childbirth and wanting to discuss the difference between an episiotomy and tearing, I just said "epidural and husband in the room." Honestly, I don't know how you can have a plan when you have no idea what the hell is going to happen.

Afterwards, Husband and I headed to Houston's for lunch while discussing how much better we felt after attending class - mostly because it reaffirmed our normalcy. The highlight was when one husband asked the teacher how thick the hospital maxi pads are and went on to explain his wife preferred the thinner ones. Seriously.

And I thought I was worried about the details.

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