Skip to main content

Underachiever

My college transcript came in the mail today. My dad doesn't read my blog, so I'll admit it - I did not apply myself in college. Twenty years ago I would have argued that point (and probably did), but at age 38 it is clear - I was an underachieving undergrad.

More appalling than my grades are the classes. It is amazing Drake awarded me a degree at all. Of course, I did pick the school because there was no math requirement for a journalism degree. I'm not kidding.

Some of the classes I received A's in: History of Rock and Roll (taught by a morning DJ who let us go after 45 minutes), Drugs in Society (where I learned what works best for treating hangovers), Deviance (what?) and Intro to Theater (clearly, I missed my calling.)

Classes I earned C's in: Intro to Economics (8 a.m. on MWF is just stupid), Logic and Critical Thinking (I have no recollection of this class), and Intro to Women's Studies (how does that happen when you're a girl?).

My grades also reflected how much fun I had each semester. Fall of my sophomore year yielded a 2.80. That was the semester I dated a bartender. Spring of senior year was my best with a 3.83 (Dean's List - woo hoo), but I was a recluse and ready to graduate.

I certainly could have tried harder. My classes could have been more challenging. Maybe I could have even earned a scholarship. But I didn't. Instead, my well-rounded college experience - and that also refers to the Freshman 15 - included learning important social skills like: a Long Island Ice Tea is not really ice tea, never accept a mat juice shot on your birthday, flannel covers a variety of sins and even if you don't remember ordering Domino's, you still have to pay for it.

I miss college.

(And if anyone finds my use of parenthesis, commas and dashes not punctuationally correct, you know what college to blame.)

Comments

  1. sandidApril 10, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    I can relate on many levels.
    I miss college too. I would do it all over again witout thinking twice. The thing I miss the most about college is that whatever mood one was in, a friend to support that mood was always available.

    Drink on the apartment balcony on a spring day, or a fall day, or 1AM on any given Tuesday...BAM! Friend! Available!

    Skip astronomy(3pm Wed and Fri also dumb...Happy Hour), head to the lake or the movies or the previously mentioned happy hour for $1 pitchers at Wandas if you were 21 or anywhere in the decade around it...BAM! Friend! Available!

    Study...BAM! Friend! Available to show me where the library was and even join me...for 30 minutes.

    I learned many of the same social lessons you did and learned the hard way, "don't eat the fruit" and Sip and GO Naked's mean exactly that.

    Good thing we didn't attend the same college.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Zack, the Smiths and a Gift Card

I’ve lived in my house for three years. Apparently, some guy named Zack has also lived in my house for the past year. Or at least Bill and Annie Smith (not their real names) in Overland Park, Kansas think he lives at my address. They send him a lot of cards – thank you notes, just for fun cards and yesterday, I received Zack’s birthday card. Obviously for me to know what kind of cards they send, I open them. The first time I received one, I “Returned to Sender,” but not since then. They keep on coming and I keep on opening them. It’s like reality TV, but through the mail. I’m not proud of my actions and suspect it’s illegal for me to keep opening Zack’s mail. But now I’m genuinely interested in how he’s doing. Zack got a new job last fall (Attaboy card), gave the Smiths Big 12 Tournament tickets (thank you note), and he had a birthday this week. Until yesterday, there was nothing of value in the cards besides sweet sentiment. But in the birthday card there was a Pla...
2 comments
Read more

The Softride Has Left The Building

Today I bid adieu to my first triathlon bike – a Softride Rocket TT named Sally. (“Ride, Sally, Ride...”) While technically still mine until the ebay auction ends tomorrow, she has been dropped off at the bike store for clean up and packing. We’ll ship her off to the new owner this weekend and that will be the end of my beam bike era. A Softride is considered old school in the triathlon world and is mocked mercilessly by roadies. Sally has a carbon beam, no down tube and 650 wheels – basically the low-rider Cadillac of bikes. While it doesn’t have a stiff suspension or a brag-worthy weight, it has one thing – comfort. This is something I desperately needed when training for my first Ironman. Sally raced at Kona in 2001 and Wisconsin in 2003. She was dependable and attention-getting. Like riding a motorcycle, Softride enthusiasts also offered the casual hand wave when you encountered another one on the road. However, there are fewer out there these days. The Softride...
2 comments
Read more

Adding Some Color

I distinctly remember my first encounter with food coloring. It was love at first chemical-laden sight. Mom and I were icing sugar cookies. We'd made a bowl of white icing. Then she broke out the food coloring. I was memorized by the bright colors and giddy at the thought of mixing them. Like most six year olds, I believed more was better. So the icing started a lovely pink after a few drops of red. Next came lavender with some blue. Then Mom turned her back just long enough for me to reenact the movie Cocktail with food coloring. Every color was going in and hell with a few drops, more is better. This is fantastic, I thought, as I created a rainbow in the bowl. I stirred with glee until I realized the rainbow was disappearing. The icing was turning a disgusting shade of gray-brown. This was terrible. No one wants to eat icing that looks like poop. So you're thinking, nice little story Jen. Way to point out that more isn't necessarily better. But that's actually n...
2 comments
Read more