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Underachiever

My college transcript came in the mail today. My dad doesn't read my blog, so I'll admit it - I did not apply myself in college. Twenty years ago I would have argued that point (and probably did), but at age 38 it is clear - I was an underachieving undergrad.

More appalling than my grades are the classes. It is amazing Drake awarded me a degree at all. Of course, I did pick the school because there was no math requirement for a journalism degree. I'm not kidding.

Some of the classes I received A's in: History of Rock and Roll (taught by a morning DJ who let us go after 45 minutes), Drugs in Society (where I learned what works best for treating hangovers), Deviance (what?) and Intro to Theater (clearly, I missed my calling.)

Classes I earned C's in: Intro to Economics (8 a.m. on MWF is just stupid), Logic and Critical Thinking (I have no recollection of this class), and Intro to Women's Studies (how does that happen when you're a girl?).

My grades also reflected how much fun I had each semester. Fall of my sophomore year yielded a 2.80. That was the semester I dated a bartender. Spring of senior year was my best with a 3.83 (Dean's List - woo hoo), but I was a recluse and ready to graduate.

I certainly could have tried harder. My classes could have been more challenging. Maybe I could have even earned a scholarship. But I didn't. Instead, my well-rounded college experience - and that also refers to the Freshman 15 - included learning important social skills like: a Long Island Ice Tea is not really ice tea, never accept a mat juice shot on your birthday, flannel covers a variety of sins and even if you don't remember ordering Domino's, you still have to pay for it.

I miss college.

(And if anyone finds my use of parenthesis, commas and dashes not punctuationally correct, you know what college to blame.)

Comments

  1. I can relate on many levels.
    I miss college too. I would do it all over again witout thinking twice. The thing I miss the most about college is that whatever mood one was in, a friend to support that mood was always available.

    Drink on the apartment balcony on a spring day, or a fall day, or 1AM on any given Tuesday...BAM! Friend! Available!

    Skip astronomy(3pm Wed and Fri also dumb...Happy Hour), head to the lake or the movies or the previously mentioned happy hour for $1 pitchers at Wandas if you were 21 or anywhere in the decade around it...BAM! Friend! Available!

    Study...BAM! Friend! Available to show me where the library was and even join me...for 30 minutes.

    I learned many of the same social lessons you did and learned the hard way, "don't eat the fruit" and Sip and GO Naked's mean exactly that.

    Good thing we didn't attend the same college.

    ReplyDelete

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