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Roller Skating is for Tweens

How might I know this? Because 25 years after my last Tour De Coachlite skating party, I found myself at Skate City donning a pair of frayed laced, orange-wheeled rentals next to ski-ball machines. Sweet nostalgia.

Except it wasn't really sweet. It was painful. I realized my roller skating prime had passed when my primary concern was for bunion pain. It was far worse than stilettos. Think I developed some shinsplints, too. And to be clear, it's not like riding a bike. Trying as I might to channel Olivia Newton John in Xanadu, grace on wheels eluded me. The whole two hours was spent teetering with my arms out, trying not to fall on my butt.


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